Day 13-15: PanchaKarma Cleanse

The past several days have been lovely. I have an overall relaxed feeling (which right before a wedding is unusual I'm sure). I've been letting myself sleep when I'm tired and when I've been awake I have felt rested. My PanchaKarma experience has been a delightful one and I strongly suggest to anyone who can take the time and invest the money to do this for themselves. I would love to think that I've created a new tradition for brides-to-be as the timing was perfect - no Bridezilla here! On top of having a calm presence for my wedding I also will have clear skin and best yet - no dark circles under my eyes!!!

This week I will interview Vijaya and hopefully answer any questions one may have before choosing to partake in the PanchaKarma. It is an interesting process and ritual - one I wasn't fully convinced of before I started but I feel so great now that I'll be an Ayurvedic fan for life. So stay tuned for more clips...

Day 12: PanchaKarma - Ayurvedic Cleanse

I feel too good.

No seriously, feeling this good first thing in the morning... it's unheard of. I don't have any cravings. No desperate 'give me my morning caffeine before someone gets killed' feelings and no 5pm 'where's my smart cocktail?' cravings. All day today I simply felt content.

This evening I went out 'drinking' with some friends and happily drank soda water the whole time. I felt so energetic and young - not the usual 'I'm too old to be out this late' feeling I usually get around 10pm. I didn't crave any of the drinks and therefor I never felt like I was missing anything. Usually if I choose not to drink at a restaurant or bar - I'll sit there longing to the entire time. For the first time in a long time I feel free from my addictions.

I'm off the ghee first-thing-in-the-morning and am just eating simple macrobiotic style foods that balance my dosha. Tonight though I had some spicy/hot food which is thought of as unbalancing for Pitta's and indeed it was a little too much for my stomach post mono diet etc.

I miss meeting up with Vijaya. I keep coming back to what she said the first day about the word Rasa and building a rapport with one another. I didn't know what she was talking about really when she first said this - but I do now.

It's so rare that we stop and allow anyone to cherish us, to honor us, to speak to our divine selves, to call to our true being. What a gift to have had the opportunity to create such a safe and beautiful rapport with Vijaya and exist in a room with such a gifted healer/spiritual guide as she transformed me.

Think for a second... have you recently been honored, worshiped, blessed as if you were an expression of the divine? Maybe it's about time?

It's funny... we get so attached to the agenda of our egos we often lose sight of the reality of our true being. We'll adamantly defend our ego's story about how we're not good enough or not worthy enough and we'll convince others of it too - teaching them how to treat us like doormats and making sure we don't get what we want out of life. It's such a strange human tick to be so self-sabotaging and insecure. While we do it - we feel like we're doing it to be nice or not-imposing or something but really it's about the ego being selfish... doing anything it can to remain relevant. Cause the truth is that we are all divine. When we're acting like we're not that's when everyone suffers.

Day 11: PanchaKarma - Ayurvedic Cleanse

Today I woke up and after much 'purgation' - felt like a million bucks! I'm off caffeine and I feel awake in the morning - unbelievable! Usually it takes me all day to have any kind of alert sensations. Not today... I felt awake since the minute I woke up and have been feeling great ever since. I'm on the post-purgation mono diet which means I can eat only fruit in the morning, vegetables at lunch and kitcheri at dinner.

I met my mom at a conference then came home, got some computer work done and walked the dog. At 4 I met up with Vijaya for my last massage. Today we are focusing on the nervous system. I didn't have to get undressed because we were doing a different type of treatment today. So I got under the covers and Vijaya pulled out some large uncooked doughnut like things. She proceeded to craft them one by one onto my face to create little dams for my eyes. Next she heated up ghee and slowly poured it into the dam - asking me then to open my eyes. I was scared at first but it didn't end up hurting at all - it actually felt really soothing. She did this to both eyes and let them sit for 20 minutes each while I rolled my eyeballs around.

Ghee has some amazing properties and has been used in Ayurvedic medicine for years. You can learn more about it here: http://www.amritaveda.com/learning/articles/ghee.asp



Next she did some breathwork with me. This was a truly unique experience. She had me breath myself into a very meditative state of mind and then asked me to locate tension in my body. At that moment I could barely find tension but she suggested I look inside at my jaw and sure enough a sort of clenching feeling was present. She started me down a path of questions to lead me to the memory of when the clenching began. I was brought back to childhood and I remembered grinding my teeth at night. She asked me why I started to grind and the feelings that arose had to do with my parents' separation when I was little (like 2 or younger). This went on for a while and she hand-held me through an emotional journey that I didn't even know I was harboring pain over. The more we spoke and the more I cried the less my jaw felt tight. Then something really cool occurred... The emotional path we were on lead us full circle (to my original intention for doing the cleanse) and it brought me to a realization of what has kept me from intimacy and commitment in relationships. It was a very psychological moment - she brought to my attention the family dynamics that my unconscious automatically defaults into within my relationships. For the last while I just became very present with my true feelings for Peter and just experienced an overwhelming sensation of love, openness and vulnerability.

I came home that night feeling so soft, loving and happy.

What an amazing week!

Day 10: PanchaKarma - Ayurvedic Cleanse

Today was supposed to be my last massage but I had to figure out a way to stretch it out just a bit longer... When Vijaya explained to me that the full-length PanchaKarma works to clean out every system in the body and each day of massage represents a different system - I had to make sure I stuck around long enough for the Nervous System.

I am generally an easily agitated person. Not that I get upset a lot but it doesn't take much to make my nerves bounce. Any night that I know I have somewhere to be in the morning - I find myself unable to fall asleep. Loud noises make me jump and anything emotional makes me jittery. Driving winds me up, travel makes me tense, I grind my teeth... you get the picture. So of all the days not to be missed, for me it was very important to complete with the nervous system

So today I went to Dr. Silvanna to get my bones adjusted - since today would have been the skeletal system if I was doing the 7 day PanchKarma. Turned out I really needed it too. My neck was definitely on crooked.

For lunch I had to make sure to eat some yogurt with lemon juice in it - this is to prepare me for Virechana or Purgation. I can see why one might want to use the Indian word in this case - because Purgation sounds downright scary. (Amazingly enough the drinking of the Castor oil part was not too bad... Squeezed a couple lemons into some hot water+Castor oil and it was actually kind of yummy.)

To seal in my back adjustment I lathered myself in some sesame oil (as instructed) and gave myself a massage followed by a hot bath. Something about the heat and the oil pushes the toxins into the lower intestine. The rest of my night was spent watching Galactica (AWESOME-IST SHOW!!!) and then finally I drank my oil concoction and down 2 laxatives. Should be an interesting morning...

Day 9: PanchaKarma - Ayurvedic Cleanse

Today I get to experience the full treatment, the official PanchaKarma tandem massage

Vijaya and Areille move like dancers. From my perspective it does not feel like two people at all but one person with four arms.







My fourth massage and I am still struggling with my thoughts and my lack of ability to let go. But something starts to shift - I'm experiencing a deeper connection. When my mind does slow down - it is empty. It is brief but it is there.

I have trouble lifting my body up to move positions - I'm melting into the bed. The amazing sensation of people praying over you and treating you with such love is precious. I feel very blessed to be experiencing this.

Once I've steamed to a nice tenderness I get to experience something else new - they pour warm oil on my third eye for twenty minutes. This was really interesting. At first there is a moment of Chinese water torture - but that quickly fades as does your busy mind. Thoughts jump in, they jump out and then something extraordinary happens... your brain is silent. You are somewhere else. You've locked into a different brain wave pattern. You feel like the low note of a chant. It is very blissful. You stay in this place till well after the treatment has ended - I remember feeling incapable of shifting from this space. Then all of a sudden like when a jar loses it's seal you pop out of it and come back into your body. Intense and great!

Day 8: PanchaKarma - Ayurvedic Cleanse

Bruise marks and vertigo and enemas - Oh My!



Yes folks - last night I experienced my first true enema! I enjoyed it so much I just had to have another this morning! Well... not exactly. Though the actual putting a hose in yer bum part was not as bad as I anticipated - there have been some weird side effects...

One being mild vertigo. I believe this started after my 2nd or 3rd massage - so perhaps not directly related to the enemas - but something about the enemas seems to trigger it and I've been enjoying dizzy, confused moments ever since.

The other is a sort of edgy, overwhelmed feeling. After both enemas I got a little snappy with Peter and even hours after found myself not having patience for things and feeling irritable.

Lastly I've been exhausted! All I want to do is sleep all day. I'm especially tired post enema.

I had to run a bunch of errands today which didn't really jive with my weird, sleepy mood and my need for extra bathroom time.

Here's what I've learned about doing enemas during your PanchKarma:

• Stick close to home! After you do one of these lil' treatments you're likely to spend some quality time with Mr. Porcelain.

• Brief your significant other - ahead of time - that you'll be needing lots of alone time and won't be feeling like yourself for a few days.

• Listen to directions. Not listening may have you keistering way more herbal tea/(basti) then intended.

• Try to arrange your schedule in such a way so you don't end up at Whole Foods or the bank when a sudden 'urge' comes upon you.

• Let yourself rest.

Now on to Gua Sha! Here's where I convince you that Vijaya has not been beating me -- 'I just fell down the stairs' -- I promise!



Well it turns out this scraping business is legit - it's a scraping of the muscle tissue technique at the spine- and actually feels pretty good. The only thing is you end up with a back full of hickies. Here's some more info:

Gua Sha is a healing technique used in the East by practitioners of Traditional Medicine, in both the clinical setting and in homes, but little known about in the West. It involves palpation and cutaneous stimulation where the skin is pressured, in strokes, by a round-edged instrument; that results in the appearance of small red petechiae called 'sha', that will fade in 2 to 3 days.

Raising Sha removes blood stagnation considered pathogenic, promoting normal circulation and metabolic processes.The patient experiences immediate relief from pain, stiffness, fever, chill, cough, nausea, and so on. Gua Sha is valuable in the prevention and treatment of acute infectious illness, upper respiratory and digestive problems, and many other acute or chronic disorders.

Day 7: PanchaKarma - Ayurvedic Cleanse

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Day 6: PanchaKarma - Ayurvedic Cleanse

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Day 5: PanchaKarma - Ayurvedic Cleanse

Another good day... I have definitely noticed that my daily head-space as been much more easy going and happy lately. At work we are putting together an amazing deck to pitch our services to a new prospective client - it's been really cool to see how the process works and to be a part of such a creative and talented team.

Also up in LA I spoke more with Tilo's (the woman I work for) daughter about her music career and what elements she needs to get her band out there playing shows. I'll be quasi-managing her this year and I'm hoping to team her up with a few musician friends. She is amazingly talented, focused and driven - and she's only 21!

I stuck to my diet - had my lunch all made ahead of time - and dinner ready-to-go when I got home. One puff off the vaporizer and then I did some yoga and settled down to watch Battlestar Galactica with Peter and Iggy.

Pretty much an all-around good day... (oh I did cheat and have a bite of chocolate after dinner;)

Tomorrow I start the massage part of the cleanse!!! Excited...

Day 4: PanchaKarma - Ayurvedic Cleanse

Today I was a good girl and ate all the correct food for my cleanse -and man am I starting to enjoy the wonderful effects of a fiber-filled diet - if ya know what I mean ;)

I took a long walk with Iggy during the day since he was biting at my toes and my head was about to explode from the computer screen. I keep having this recurring day dream which brings back to mind the 'initiative' I created in my Wisdom Course last year... My initiative was that I was a 'dream weaver' - that my job was to help others make their dreams come true. From that initiative my Wisdom Buddy, Melissa and I came up with a business idea which did exactly that - coached people in a powerful way to help them produce their dreams. Over the past year I keep expanding on it and I really feel like my role would also be to connect creative people who lack capital up with investors. As it stands I know plenty of creative people without capital - and only a few with the extra money to invest. So that's what I'm going to put out there -- my initiative is to coach talented people towards their dreams and to connect them to financially abundant, conscious people who want to make a difference in their community or in the world. --If anyone would like to coach me in how I might go forward with this idea - I'm all ears...

Part of the concept behind doing this cleanse and 'preparing' for my upcoming marriage this way is to really step into my own power, my true 'adult as possibility' self. So I see this cleanse helping me flush away blockages that limit me in life and I see my commitment to Peter as the rock that I can build upon. I'm ready to take the leap...

Day 3: PanchaKarma - Ayurvedic cleanse

Today I started the morning very well -- my morning shot of ghee (clarified butter), plain oatmeal with goji berries and ghee and a cup of white tea. Then I had a work meeting at Old Vine Cafe and I slipped a bit... I was good and ordered their vegan quinoa dish but couldn't resit the mozzarella appetizers... yum!!! Okay since I was already cheating I went ahead and had a half glass of white wine and a teeny tiny little pecan tartlet. I'm pretty certain neither of those items were going to balance my Dosha but I figure I can have a little fun until Saturday when the massages and enemas begin...

For dinner I made amends and was back to steamed veggies, mung beans, basmati rice and some raw veg with goddess dressing for dip. I ate it with my specially formulated tea and with lotsa ghee!

I am getting very excited for Saturday when the real cleanse begins. The 2 hour oil massages sound simply amazing. After such a relaxing weekend at Sagewater Spa for my Bachelorette weekend - I feel so much calmer and happier - I can't wait to experience the delight of 5 days full of intense massage. Will anyone recognize me after?

I am doing a mini-PanchaKarma but the normal ones go for 7 days and you have 2 people massaging you every day -- just think about that for a moment... It's hard to imagine for those of us who have a hard time taking time out for ourselves but it sounds very, very nice!

Day 2: PanchaKarma - Ayurvedic Cleanse

Today I woke up and immediately drank a tsp of warm ghee then swished around some sesame oil in my mouth (a little trick Vijaya taught me to help with receding gums). Next I ate some plain oatmeal with ghee, coconut milk, agave nectar (raw) and goji berries. I am a avid tea drinker usually - so for the cleanse I've cut back to a white tea blend. So in the morning I have my tea after a little bit of food - since Vijaya said I was getting a bit dried out inside from bitter tea first thing in the morning every day.

For lunch I blended a bit of tasty green drink (powder of fruits and veggies) with coconut milk, coconut water, pomegranate juice and fresh mint. Then I mixed up my mung beans and rice from the night before with some lettuce and goddess dressing (that's probably cheating ;).

Since the food I'm eating isn't very heavy I end up being hungry at odd times of the day and graze more then eat the usual 3 meals. At around 4pm I had another bowl of mung beans and rice then took a long walk with Peter and Iggy (our chihuahua).

For dinner I made some new mung beans and rice and steamed some veggies. This round was not very satisfying so I ate a little more a couple of hours later. My tummy felt a little funky from all the mung beans - they are a pretty thick little bean and even after simmering for an hour they still have a little raw texture to them. [side note: apparently I bought the wrong type of Mung beans - I need Yellow Split Mung Beans... and need to stop by an Indian market for those] Usually if you do the complete PanchaKarma Vijaya will make all your Kitcheri for you. I am doing a mini-PanchaKarma and the meals aren't included but I can see how that really is the way to go. Not only does it make sense when you're busy to have someone else make your food for you but it takes out the guess work, tracking down the ingredients then cooking them well. Luckily for the first 5 days I can eat more then just Kitcheri - phew...


Find out more about Ayurvedic cleanses at http://livingrasa.com/

Day 1: PanchaKarma - Ayurvedic Cleanse

Yesterday begins my 15 day journey through PanchaKarma with Vijaya from http://livingrasa.com/.

The following are some of the benefits of Panchakarma:

1. Cleanses the whole body of toxins and restores balance.
2. Strengthens the immune system, thus improving resistance to illnesses.
3. It reverses the effects of stress and aging in mind and body.
4. It enhances our strength, energy and vitality, as well as mental clarity and alertness.
5. It helps the body to heal itself, thus reducing dependency on herbs and medicines.
6. Helps one to make positive and beneficial lifestyle changes.

I am starting with a change of diet that is based around balancing my main dosha or constitution (which is Pitta) and easing my digestion.

What is Pitta:

Pitta is said to be composed of fire and water; it governs "all heat, metabolism and transformation in the mind and body. It controls how we digest food, how we metabolize our sensory perceptions, and how we discriminate between right and wrong." Pitta must be kept in balance, too. "Too much Pitta can lead to anger, criticism, ulcers, rashes and thinning hair.". A balanced Pitta mind makes one a good leader with a warm personality.

My first day was mostly spent gathering the items I'd be eating for the next week: ghee, mung beans, basmati rice, oatmeal, veggies to steam, coconut water, pomegranate juice, green drink, fennel seeds, cilantro, mint and goji berries. I'm sticking to simple foods, foods that balance my Dosha and the basic "kitcheri" diet of the cleanse (lotsa mung beans and rice).

Also I am drinking a mix of herbs concocted by Vijaya that were put together specifically for my Dosha-imbalances.

In ayurveda there are 3 main doshas (medical humours), which are Vata (resembles the classical element air), Pitta (fire), and Kapha (water).All bodily processes are believed to be governed by a balance of the 3 doshas. Whichever dosha appears to dominate a person's behavior and physique is called his constitution type. Each constitution type has particular strengths and susceptibilities.Often a person is a dual dosha (e.g. Vata/Pitta) or even Tridosha (all three doshas).

One of the ways Pittas experience imbalance is in their mood - feeling grumpy or spent - since Pittas naturally gravitate toward "doing" stuff the breakdown lies in not "being" enough. I started drinking this herbal tea a month ago and have already felt a difference in my state of mind. I had been feeling like I was running on empty. I felt depleted, unappreciated and sometimes depressed. Ever since I started taking the herb tea Vijaya made for me, I have watched a lot of that bitterness fall from my way of being. I've taken more time for myself and have stopped expecting such a high level of performance out of every minute of the day. Just being given permission to calm down - made all the difference in the world...