No seriously, feeling this good first thing in the morning... it's unheard of. I don't have any cravings. No desperate 'give me my morning caffeine before someone gets killed' feelings and no 5pm 'where's my smart cocktail?' cravings. All day today I simply felt content.
This evening I went out 'drinking' with some friends and happily drank soda water the whole time. I felt so energetic and young - not the usual 'I'm too old to be out this late' feeling I usually get around 10pm. I didn't crave any of the drinks and therefor I never felt like I was missing anything. Usually if I choose not to drink at a restaurant or bar - I'll sit there longing to the entire time. For the first time in a long time I feel free from my addictions.
I'm off the ghee first-thing-in-the-morning and am just eating simple macrobiotic style foods that balance my dosha. Tonight though I had some spicy/hot food which is thought of as unbalancing for Pitta's and indeed it was a little too much for my stomach post mono diet etc.
I miss meeting up with Vijaya. I keep coming back to what she said the first day about the word Rasa and building a rapport with one another. I didn't know what she was talking about really when she first said this - but I do now.
It's so rare that we stop and allow anyone to cherish us, to honor us, to speak to our divine selves, to call to our true being. What a gift to have had the opportunity to create such a safe and beautiful rapport with Vijaya and exist in a room with such a gifted healer/spiritual guide as she transformed me.
Think for a second... have you recently been honored, worshiped, blessed as if you were an expression of the divine? Maybe it's about time?
It's funny... we get so attached to the agenda of our egos we often lose sight of the reality of our true being. We'll adamantly defend our ego's story about how we're not good enough or not worthy enough and we'll convince others of it too - teaching them how to treat us like doormats and making sure we don't get what we want out of life. It's such a strange human tick to be so self-sabotaging and insecure. While we do it - we feel like we're doing it to be nice or not-imposing or something but really it's about the ego being selfish... doing anything it can to remain relevant. Cause the truth is that we are all divine. When we're acting like we're not that's when everyone suffers.
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